Late May 2013

A friend was sent this and it looked like it was clipped from a paper or magazine, but I thought it was hilarious. I do not know the origin or author.   I’ve never seen or heard of it and maybe you haven’t either.  It’s diary entries of your pets.  And anyone who has ever owned a dog & a cat will get some humor out of this:

Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dried nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet.  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts, since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities.  However, they merely made condescending remarks about what a “good little hunter” I am.  Bastard!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies”.  I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.  The bird must be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so his is safe……… for now.

Dog’s Diary

8:00a.m. – Dog food!  My favorite thing!

9:30a.m. – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40a.m. – A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!

10:30a.m. – Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!

12:00p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00p.m. – Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!

3:00p.m. – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00p.m. – Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00p.m. – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00p.m. – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00p.m. – Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!

May 2013

Once again I have taken a hiatus on writing.  For what it’s worth, I do spend a lot of time “thinking” about writing.  I just find it hard to pick up the pen.  I keep saying and thinking I’ll do better, but who knows.  All of the puzzles & games I receive in the mail are really appreciated as they give me something to exercise the mind.  I enjoy them and wanted to say thanks.

This prison has a “no pork” policy.  It is against the beliefs of Muslims to eat pork.  However, it is also against their beliefs to sit at a table while you eat pork.  So this prison has long ago adopted a “no pork” policy in its chow hall.  Most if not all the other Tennessee prisons still serve pork.  I just thought it odd.  We do have a lot of turkey posing other things.  Turkey bologna, turkey ham, ground turkey in stir fry or spaghetti.  No turkey bacon though.

  I recently had the opportunity to sit with Rob, Roy, & Mark all at the same tmie.  It had nearly been 2 years since that happened (Labor Day reunion ’11).  We ate and talked and laughed, and played.  Almost normal.  We got our picture made, and no one complained, which may have been the most abnormal part of the day.  Sure was good to get together.  Maybe another few years will fly by and we can gather as a whole family, and eat some barbeque. Pork!

April 2013

Rumor has it that Mark is planning a visit Mother’s Day weekend.  Looking forward to seeing him.  It will have been nearly 2 years.  Wow, that seems even longer now that it’s written down rather than just a passing thought.  Looking forward to that visit, as I do them all.

Today’s tune is “Lightning Crashes” by Live.  It takes me back to Tim Neal’s Silverado.  That song was always playing.  We were on our way to play golf, or to pick up our dates.  A long time ago, but clear as a bell.  Why do we have to grow up? 

I cannot wait to watch the Masters.  Another Good Friday golf outing opportunity has come & gone, and honestly, it failed to cross my mind until a few days later.  That is hard for me to believe.  It’s good though.  One day, we shall play.

I saw this somewhere & thought it was worth noting, “Lord, make me the man my dog thinks I am.”  As a dog lover, I understand.  As a man, I’ve got a lot of room for improvement.

I haven’t written as much lately as I should.  And that’s both the blog & replies to letters & cards.  Just haven’t had much to say.  I feel like this time I have is sort of a gift.  Time to reflect, time to grow, time to improve.  I have to somehow figure out who & what I will be once this journey ends.  Now that’s a daunting task.  One that I am trying to embrace.  Changing, whether physically or spiritually, is rarely easy.  But it is necessary.  What lies ahead is the unknown.  But if I can get through today, then it’s a battle won.  Looking forward to tomorrow.